Poker Is About Denying Yourself
Saying no to what comes naturally.
On a fundamental level, playing poker well is about denying yourself. On multiple levels.
In a very basic sense, you’re not supposed to react to anything. You pick up your two hole cards. Don’t react. The flop is dealt. Don’t react. You completely miss your open-ended straight draw. Don’t react. You send hundreds of dollars into the middle as a bluff. Don’t react. Your mind is racing with thoughts and analyses. But outside you’re trying to stay as cool as a cucumber. Give away as little information as possible — anything else might give a slight edge to your opponent.
But it goes beyond that. Poker is also about resisting false narratives that may form in the moment. Narratives that may prove extremely enticing.
Let’s say you’re on a heart flush draw against an opponent who’s bet big against you. You don’t have the odds to call, but you decide to make a risky move anyway. You move all-in, your opponent calls, and you spike a heart on the river. You win a huge pot. As the dealer pushes the massive pile of chips towards you, you’re engulfed by a sense of invulnerability and euphoria. “Not only am I good at this game, I can do anything!” you think to yourself.
The problem is, no you can’t.
What happened was, you bet all your money on a 19% chance you’d hit a heart and ended up getting there. But every hand is an independent event. No single victory necessarily says anything about you as a person. The same is true of an unlucky loss.
As a species, I think we’re hardwired to form narratives out of observable events. I just hit three big hands in a row so the wind is at my back. I just lost for two hours straight so I must be irredeemably terrible at this game. I just got the job offer of my dreams so my life might be finally turning around. I can’t pass this test no matter how hard I study.
Poker is about resisting those narratives with every fiber of your being. It’s about taking each hand as it comes and understanding that all outcomes are equally likely right now as they were a few minutes ago.
That’s the terror and the beauty of it. You’re not invincible. But you can always make the right decision in any given moment.
Resist the easy narratives.